“I’ll get to it tomorrow.”
“Maybe after watching the football game...”
“I’m too tired.”
“Pizza? Writing? Pizza? Writing?...PIZZA!”
“A movie? No, I need to get some writing done...WAIT!...I really want to see this movie. I’ll write later.”
“Just one quick game of chess...”
“Oh, I love this episode. Kirk and Spock fighting to the death. Writing can wait.”
Distractions, a writer’s worst enemy. How distractions are dealt with can make or break a deadline. For a great idea on how to use distractions to an advantage, scroll down to a previous post. But in order to learn how to eliminate distractions all together, keep reading.
It is a simple, time-honored tradition that all successful writers preach, setting goals. I heard that! I mentioned the words” setting goals” and some of you groaned. You’re thinking, “it’s bad enough I have to write thousands of words on these blank pages before my deadline approaches and you’re telling me to waste time setting goals for myself. OK! Here’s a goal. Finish writing my manuscript before said deadline approaches. Happy?”
When setting writing goals, it is important to have several goals broken down into achievable chunks. It would be unrealistic to expect a 300-page manuscript be completed in a month’s time. That type of goal would not only lead to failure, it would frustrate the author and possibly jeopardize future endeavors. An achievable set of goals is the key. Start out small to keep the pen flowing and to build up confidence. Once the first several goals have been met, gradually increase the workload, never going beyond what is possible.
For my works in progress (WIP), I like to outline a two week time-frame. Day one might be something as simple as coming up with a concept for the book. Thirteen year-old Julian Torres discovers a jeweled stone buried in the backyard of his Dad’s beachfront property in Costa Rica. Extensive research reveals he may have discovered a piece from the legendary Treasures of Lima. A Goal for the next two days is to come up with character names and profiles. Day four’s goal is to write a page length summary of the story. Day five’s goal; create an outline of events. Day six; work on writing the first chapter summary. Next week’s daily goals are to write a chapter summary per day. I then figure out another two week’s worth of goals. Once the first draft starts, I go with a moderate goal of writing two pages per day. With these achievable goals, I will have no problem keeping the fingers pecking away at the keyboard. It also helps me to organize my day. If I really want to see a movie or catch an episode of Star Trek, I make sure to get my writing goal finished first.
Setting achievable goals will move any WIP along at a comfortable rate, keeping the writer satisfied. A satisfied writer (or better yet, a satisfied writer’s characters) can do anything; climb Mt. Everest, wrestle a great white shark, throw the game winning touchdown in a championship game, or solve a fantastic mystery that has baffled authorities for months. So keep those goals coming.
Today’s goal: submit post for “Educated Writer” blog...DONE! Now I can watch Spock take a swing at his captain. Dun dun Da Da Da Da Da Da Da dadun Dah Dah brrrrrraaaaahhhh!!! Or better yet, Chip Douglas battling Steven Kovacs.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Perseverance
Take a moment to think about the hard work that goes into writing. It can be a multi-step process that spans months, if not years. Before I began writing (way way back in grade school...see a previous entry for more on that), I had limited knowledge of the process. To me, writing a story was as easy as sitting in front of a pad of paper and re-writing Star Wars with different characters, ships, and planets. Many years and many writing courses later, I have gained a valuable insight into that process.
It takes a lot more than an afternoon or two of writing to finish a well-polished manuscript. A plot, settings, and characters all need invented. In order to accomplish those feats, the writer must first outline, profile, and summarize. After all the details of the story are worked out, it’s time for a first draft. Many stories written by both amateur and professional writers rarely make it past the first draft. If it does, you can bet there was a lot of sweat, tears, and hair pulling involved. Once all the sweat and tears have been replenished, the slightly balder writer enters the editing and revising process—egad! A final polish and—after several months of sleepless nights and dozens of fast food meals—a presentable manuscript is ready for the mail slot, yes? No! Now the writer must dedicate several hours, days, even weeks or months to find a suitable publisher. That polished sci-fi manuscript won’t go anywhere if it is sent to a publishing house that only prints non-fiction books or poetry.
The writing is done. The research is complete. Now the writer must craft a query letter, cover letter, and/or a proposal. The letter must be concise and engaging or the publisher won’t waste more than a few seconds on it. That’s the brutal truth of the publishing industry. Many writers spend countless hours on a manuscript only to have a publisher glance at it before deeming it ready for the recycle bin. When that happens, don’t give up. Try another publishing house. Keep sending that manuscript away. If several rejections occur, a writer can always re-examine the story. Maybe more editing and revising would strengthen the manuscript. Perhaps a step back from the current manuscript would be beneficial to a new work in progress.
No matter what stage of the writing process you are in, dedication will get you through it. Be stubborn about writing. Set aside a chunk of time each day to fulfill your writing needs and don’t quit until it’s absolutely necessary. Perseverance is a quality all writers must have. Harness that quality, use it day in and day out and you’ll become the writer you always wanted to be.
It takes a lot more than an afternoon or two of writing to finish a well-polished manuscript. A plot, settings, and characters all need invented. In order to accomplish those feats, the writer must first outline, profile, and summarize. After all the details of the story are worked out, it’s time for a first draft. Many stories written by both amateur and professional writers rarely make it past the first draft. If it does, you can bet there was a lot of sweat, tears, and hair pulling involved. Once all the sweat and tears have been replenished, the slightly balder writer enters the editing and revising process—egad! A final polish and—after several months of sleepless nights and dozens of fast food meals—a presentable manuscript is ready for the mail slot, yes? No! Now the writer must dedicate several hours, days, even weeks or months to find a suitable publisher. That polished sci-fi manuscript won’t go anywhere if it is sent to a publishing house that only prints non-fiction books or poetry.
The writing is done. The research is complete. Now the writer must craft a query letter, cover letter, and/or a proposal. The letter must be concise and engaging or the publisher won’t waste more than a few seconds on it. That’s the brutal truth of the publishing industry. Many writers spend countless hours on a manuscript only to have a publisher glance at it before deeming it ready for the recycle bin. When that happens, don’t give up. Try another publishing house. Keep sending that manuscript away. If several rejections occur, a writer can always re-examine the story. Maybe more editing and revising would strengthen the manuscript. Perhaps a step back from the current manuscript would be beneficial to a new work in progress.
No matter what stage of the writing process you are in, dedication will get you through it. Be stubborn about writing. Set aside a chunk of time each day to fulfill your writing needs and don’t quit until it’s absolutely necessary. Perseverance is a quality all writers must have. Harness that quality, use it day in and day out and you’ll become the writer you always wanted to be.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Distractions, Distractions
For the writer, distractions come in all shapes, sizes, and sounds. From food, to TV, to the fine art of relieving oneself. Not a day goes by without at least a dozen distractions pulling the writer away from the written page, or in my case, the unwritten page. The phone rings, the dog barks, Grandma Gertrude comes over for a visit, the neighbor is mowing the lawn, the aroma of fresh, hot apple pie drifts through the door crack. How can a writer deal with such distractions? Short of locking oneself in a small, white-walled, soundproofed, square room with pad and pencil, the “educated” writer must learn to use the distractions to his or her advantage.
There is a knock on the door. The “educated” writer will use this moment to contemplate who could be standing behind the door. A shady neighbor from down the street collecting donations to a phony charity. Perhaps this neighbor has a debt to settle with a loan shark and is desperate for cash. He needs to “raise” two-thousand clams by nightfall or he’s history.
Aha! That would make a great character in a novel about a single dad trying to prove his ability to raise four children to a demanding social worker . His wife had died two years ago. He lost his job shortly after that and has been gambling away what little money he had left. He managed to win a few pots in some high stakes poker games, but his luck has recently turned. Now with no money and no other choice, he turns to the streets for help.
Quickly, the “educated” writer jots down the notes then answers the door. It turns out to be an elderly woman who had the wrong apartment number. The “educated” writer gracefully accepts her apology and returns to the keyboard. With a moment’s thought, the “educated” writer wonders, what if the elderly woman did have the correct apartment? Perhaps the middle-aged man who answered the door abducted the friend she thought lived in the apartment. He only pretended she had the wrong apartment so he could get rid of the body without any witnesses. Again, the “educated” writer jots some notes. That scenario may not work in the current work in progress, but it might play well in a future piece.
With a question and a few thoughts, the “educated” writer used the distraction to his advantage, weaving a simple knock at the door into a well-rounded character and the elderly woman’s mistake into a suspenseful scene. The same can be done whenever the phone rings or dinner is calling. Ask a question. Contemplate the situation. Let your imagination run wild. Scribble some notes and you’ll be well on your way to defeating those annoying distractions.
There is a knock on the door. The “educated” writer will use this moment to contemplate who could be standing behind the door. A shady neighbor from down the street collecting donations to a phony charity. Perhaps this neighbor has a debt to settle with a loan shark and is desperate for cash. He needs to “raise” two-thousand clams by nightfall or he’s history.
Aha! That would make a great character in a novel about a single dad trying to prove his ability to raise four children to a demanding social worker . His wife had died two years ago. He lost his job shortly after that and has been gambling away what little money he had left. He managed to win a few pots in some high stakes poker games, but his luck has recently turned. Now with no money and no other choice, he turns to the streets for help.
Quickly, the “educated” writer jots down the notes then answers the door. It turns out to be an elderly woman who had the wrong apartment number. The “educated” writer gracefully accepts her apology and returns to the keyboard. With a moment’s thought, the “educated” writer wonders, what if the elderly woman did have the correct apartment? Perhaps the middle-aged man who answered the door abducted the friend she thought lived in the apartment. He only pretended she had the wrong apartment so he could get rid of the body without any witnesses. Again, the “educated” writer jots some notes. That scenario may not work in the current work in progress, but it might play well in a future piece.
With a question and a few thoughts, the “educated” writer used the distraction to his advantage, weaving a simple knock at the door into a well-rounded character and the elderly woman’s mistake into a suspenseful scene. The same can be done whenever the phone rings or dinner is calling. Ask a question. Contemplate the situation. Let your imagination run wild. Scribble some notes and you’ll be well on your way to defeating those annoying distractions.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The Writer's Perfect World
Lately, I've been swamped at work. To writers like myself, "work" is an acutal job that helps pay the bills. Unfortunately, "work" all too often gets in the way of my true passion, which is of course, sitting on my butt watching TV. OK, ok, "work" gets in the way of my second true passion, sitting on my butt and writing. If only I had several, non-stop hours to devote to writing.
In the writer's perfect world, there would be no day job to go to. The day would start off with the kitchen staff bringing me breakfast in bed; a tray filled with a plate full of hotcakes, egg bake and sausage gravy, and a glass of pineapple juice. After breakfast, I would stroll to the bathroom where the attendant has a warm bath drawn. With a ring of the bell, my robe and slippers would be presented. For the rest of the morning I would retire to my office, a spacious room with a spectacular view of my beach front property. After the maid tidies up my desk and the butler brings in a tray of snacks and drinks, it's time to buckle down. The fantastic sequel to "The Toupe'd Eagle" that was thought up while the masseuse worked out the kinks in my back the evening before, flows onto the computer screen as my fingers sail over the keyboard at an incredible rate. A week later, the first draft is done.
Line one of the red phone on my desk flashes. I pick up the receiver to hear my agent tell me "The Toupe'd Eagle" has been approved for publication. I slip in a joyful "YAHOO!" just before my agent informs me that the publisher wants me to author several other books in the series. I hang up ecstatic about the contract. I waltz over to the wall mirror. "Lucky I don't have a day job," I tell my reflection, which happens to wink back at me. "You have all the time in the world to write, you handsome author, you."
Corny? Yes! But a guy can dream can't he?
In the writer's perfect world, there would be no day job to go to. The day would start off with the kitchen staff bringing me breakfast in bed; a tray filled with a plate full of hotcakes, egg bake and sausage gravy, and a glass of pineapple juice. After breakfast, I would stroll to the bathroom where the attendant has a warm bath drawn. With a ring of the bell, my robe and slippers would be presented. For the rest of the morning I would retire to my office, a spacious room with a spectacular view of my beach front property. After the maid tidies up my desk and the butler brings in a tray of snacks and drinks, it's time to buckle down. The fantastic sequel to "The Toupe'd Eagle" that was thought up while the masseuse worked out the kinks in my back the evening before, flows onto the computer screen as my fingers sail over the keyboard at an incredible rate. A week later, the first draft is done.
Line one of the red phone on my desk flashes. I pick up the receiver to hear my agent tell me "The Toupe'd Eagle" has been approved for publication. I slip in a joyful "YAHOO!" just before my agent informs me that the publisher wants me to author several other books in the series. I hang up ecstatic about the contract. I waltz over to the wall mirror. "Lucky I don't have a day job," I tell my reflection, which happens to wink back at me. "You have all the time in the world to write, you handsome author, you."
Corny? Yes! But a guy can dream can't he?
Friday, April 1, 2011
Top 10 Childhood Accomplishments
Top 10 lists are enjoyable to create. They’re also fun to pick apart. Therefore, I have constructed a top 10 list of my biggest childhood accomplishments. Remember “accomplishments” means something entirely different to a seven or eight year old. This list may not look impressive to an adult, but it sure as heck fire will look cool to the grade schooler. So without further delay, here is EJ Sivad’s Top 10 Childhood Accomplishments... minus Casey Kasem.
#10) Woke up at 2:00 in the morning to catch Star Wars on the Movie Channel. We had a small, 20 inch black and white TV in our bedroom. Just about every night SW was on, my twin brother and I would set an alarm so we’d be able to catch the nightly viewing. We got caught once, but when mom came in we pretended we fell asleep with the TV on.
#9) Received a letter and a helmet sticker back from my favorite football team. In third grade I wrote to the Atlanta Falcons. They were my favorite because they wore red jerseys and helmets. I made sure to mention that I thought they had the coolest uniforms. I even included a neato play for them to use as a secret weapon to win their games. Three weeks later, I received a form letter back with a signature at the bottom (no clue who’s it was... I only knew it wasn’t Steve Bartkowski’s, William Andrew's, or Alfred Jenkin’s) a schedule for the upcoming season, four helmet stickers, and a thank you for the play. Of course, they have yet to run that play, but each week I sit in my recliner waiting for that moment when I can pat myself on the back and say, “I came up with that play!”
#8) Won $20.00 playing Bingo at the Springbrook family picnic. Springbrook is a gun club my dad belonged to. The dad’s shot clay pigeons while the mom’s played Bingo. I was on a roll that afternoon, calling out Bingo four times. Who wanted to pick up a rifle when you could rob a bunch of old ladies of their money?
#7) Played a rabbit in the second grade class play “The Forest Friends”. I may not have had any lines, but I sure could hop.
#6) California Angels get within 1 strike of going to the World Series. Though I had nothing to do with this personally, when you’re a 14 year old fan who has been through a few disappointing football and baseball seasons, you can’t help but feel your constant cheering had something to do with your team’s good fortunes. Unfortunately for the ‘86 Angels, good fortune ran out the moment I hollered for my mom to come watch what I thought was the final strike of the American League Championship Series (ALCS). Mom came into the living room and said “Now watch this guy hit a homerun.” Next pitch, Dave Henderson of the Red Sox launched a screamer over the left field wall. The two run blast gave the Red Sox the lead and eventually the ALCS. You can bet I blame mom for that. In fact, I outlawed her from watching the 2002 World Series. Coincidentally, the Angels won that one.
#5) Completed my first story Mile High Hill in 6th grade. It was for a Choose Your Own Adventure contest. Needless to say, I didn’t win...but in 6th grade (and life in general) we’re all winners...right?
#4) Made 10 out of 20 free throws in the 5th grade free throw contest. It was a good enough showing to advance to the quarter finals where I made another 10 out of 20, but failed to move on to the semi-finals. To this day I still stand on the gymnasium free throw line and imagine how it would have been if I made two more shots in the semi’s. At least I know how Richie Cunningham felt when he blew the final free throw for Jefferson High in the state championships. Of course, I tossed my basketball at the hoops like a real man. None of that “granny shot” stuff Richie tried.
#3) Cub scout softball team comes back from 12 runs behind in the final inning to win the game. I had two hits, one run batted in, and two runs scored in that inning alone. Before that inning, our coach said if we came back and won, he’d treat us all to a twist cone. Boy did that ice cream at the DQ taste great that afternoon. And who says bribery doesn’t work?
#2) Sugar Ray Leonard beats Marvin Haggler and I make a small fortune in bets. Everyone, including my 10th grade Art teacher was picking Marvin Haggler to win the big boxing match. But me and my brothers knew better. We bet anybody and everybody that Sugar Ray would win. I could either lose $100 bucks I didn’t have or gain a small fortune and a ton of respect as a dude who knew what he was talking about when it came to boxing. We ordered the big fight on pay per view and were not disappointed with the split decision in Leonard’s favor. For the next two weeks, my brother’s and I were big shots. It was as if I stepped in the ring to win the fight myself.
#1) Saw Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace 83 times in a movie theater. OK, so I wasn’t actually “a kid” in 1999. But I sure felt like a five year-old again each time I sat down in those comfy cinema seats with Nachos and super-size soda in hand while the opening theme song blared from the speakers. Just how much dough did I spend seeing a movie that many times? A ton. But I did save some greenbacks here and there the two years previous to May 19th, 1999. Not to mention the theater owner got so used to seeing my face, he let me in free several times. I still have the ticket stubs in my Yoda collector drink cup from Taco Bell.
Ah! What great memories! It’s always fun to think back to your youth. If you’re having a hard time doing so, try a top 10 list of your own. Or better yet, sit down with your wife (and children) and have them join you. Then take turns reading off each number from 10-1.
#10) Woke up at 2:00 in the morning to catch Star Wars on the Movie Channel. We had a small, 20 inch black and white TV in our bedroom. Just about every night SW was on, my twin brother and I would set an alarm so we’d be able to catch the nightly viewing. We got caught once, but when mom came in we pretended we fell asleep with the TV on.
#9) Received a letter and a helmet sticker back from my favorite football team. In third grade I wrote to the Atlanta Falcons. They were my favorite because they wore red jerseys and helmets. I made sure to mention that I thought they had the coolest uniforms. I even included a neato play for them to use as a secret weapon to win their games. Three weeks later, I received a form letter back with a signature at the bottom (no clue who’s it was... I only knew it wasn’t Steve Bartkowski’s, William Andrew's, or Alfred Jenkin’s) a schedule for the upcoming season, four helmet stickers, and a thank you for the play. Of course, they have yet to run that play, but each week I sit in my recliner waiting for that moment when I can pat myself on the back and say, “I came up with that play!”
#8) Won $20.00 playing Bingo at the Springbrook family picnic. Springbrook is a gun club my dad belonged to. The dad’s shot clay pigeons while the mom’s played Bingo. I was on a roll that afternoon, calling out Bingo four times. Who wanted to pick up a rifle when you could rob a bunch of old ladies of their money?
#7) Played a rabbit in the second grade class play “The Forest Friends”. I may not have had any lines, but I sure could hop.
#6) California Angels get within 1 strike of going to the World Series. Though I had nothing to do with this personally, when you’re a 14 year old fan who has been through a few disappointing football and baseball seasons, you can’t help but feel your constant cheering had something to do with your team’s good fortunes. Unfortunately for the ‘86 Angels, good fortune ran out the moment I hollered for my mom to come watch what I thought was the final strike of the American League Championship Series (ALCS). Mom came into the living room and said “Now watch this guy hit a homerun.” Next pitch, Dave Henderson of the Red Sox launched a screamer over the left field wall. The two run blast gave the Red Sox the lead and eventually the ALCS. You can bet I blame mom for that. In fact, I outlawed her from watching the 2002 World Series. Coincidentally, the Angels won that one.
#5) Completed my first story Mile High Hill in 6th grade. It was for a Choose Your Own Adventure contest. Needless to say, I didn’t win...but in 6th grade (and life in general) we’re all winners...right?
#4) Made 10 out of 20 free throws in the 5th grade free throw contest. It was a good enough showing to advance to the quarter finals where I made another 10 out of 20, but failed to move on to the semi-finals. To this day I still stand on the gymnasium free throw line and imagine how it would have been if I made two more shots in the semi’s. At least I know how Richie Cunningham felt when he blew the final free throw for Jefferson High in the state championships. Of course, I tossed my basketball at the hoops like a real man. None of that “granny shot” stuff Richie tried.
#3) Cub scout softball team comes back from 12 runs behind in the final inning to win the game. I had two hits, one run batted in, and two runs scored in that inning alone. Before that inning, our coach said if we came back and won, he’d treat us all to a twist cone. Boy did that ice cream at the DQ taste great that afternoon. And who says bribery doesn’t work?
#2) Sugar Ray Leonard beats Marvin Haggler and I make a small fortune in bets. Everyone, including my 10th grade Art teacher was picking Marvin Haggler to win the big boxing match. But me and my brothers knew better. We bet anybody and everybody that Sugar Ray would win. I could either lose $100 bucks I didn’t have or gain a small fortune and a ton of respect as a dude who knew what he was talking about when it came to boxing. We ordered the big fight on pay per view and were not disappointed with the split decision in Leonard’s favor. For the next two weeks, my brother’s and I were big shots. It was as if I stepped in the ring to win the fight myself.
#1) Saw Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace 83 times in a movie theater. OK, so I wasn’t actually “a kid” in 1999. But I sure felt like a five year-old again each time I sat down in those comfy cinema seats with Nachos and super-size soda in hand while the opening theme song blared from the speakers. Just how much dough did I spend seeing a movie that many times? A ton. But I did save some greenbacks here and there the two years previous to May 19th, 1999. Not to mention the theater owner got so used to seeing my face, he let me in free several times. I still have the ticket stubs in my Yoda collector drink cup from Taco Bell.
Ah! What great memories! It’s always fun to think back to your youth. If you’re having a hard time doing so, try a top 10 list of your own. Or better yet, sit down with your wife (and children) and have them join you. Then take turns reading off each number from 10-1.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Planning: the Best Defense Against Writer's Block
For me the easiest part of writing is the first draft. It’s exciting to turn my characters, settings, and situations into words. The most satisfying moment is when the last words to my manuscript have been typed. Of course, after that comes the painstaking chores of editing and revising. This can take two to three times longer to complete than the actual writing. But I’m not going to bore you with that aspect of writing (see previous entry). What I am going to preach about today is what goes on before the first draft: the planning.
For some writers, plot outlines, chapter summaries, and character profiles are more tedious than editing. Many writers can weave a single idea into a satisfying manuscript without a single moment of planning. A spark ignites, the plot and characters unfold as they type and... VOILA...the first draft is done. I went that route with my first manuscript. Unfortunately, in my case, that only prolonged the revision process. I had that initial spark for my story ten years ago and am just now putting the finishing touches to it. This story has gone through three major overhauls in plot, setting, and characters. Since then, I’ve learned that a little planning can reduce the time spent revising.
It’s fun too. Much like the fun in planning a Walt Disney World vacation. What hotel to stay at, what parks to visit (setting). How to get there, what attractions and shows to see, where to eat (plot). Who is going (characters) and what are they interested in doing? Planning helps make a satisfying and successful vacation. The same applies to writing. A sturdy outline of events keeps the plot anchored so I don’t need to stop writing to conjure up the next scene. All I have to do is refer to my outline and my index fingers can keep pecking away at the keys. A firm character profile keeps continuity from page to page with my literary cast. I know how each character will respond to any given situation because I have laid out their age, history, families, likes, dislikes, and witticisms before bringing them to written life. Solid chapter summaries keep me focused on setting, character interaction, and specific details to the plot so I don’t have to waste precious time battling writer’s block.
The planning method works well for the “chunk” writer. No I don’t mean the overweight writer. A “chunk” writer is one who devotes small chunks of time to writing by either necessity or choice. For me—having a job and family...coaching, Cub Scout den leader, classroom volunteer, etc.—chunk writing is necessary. I may only have thirty minutes to write on Monday and two hours on Tuesday (if only I had two hours every day). With a detailed plan, I can pick up right where I left off. I know what I am going to be writing about the moment I sit down.
Planning is not limited to the few ideas mentioned above. All writers are different. One writer might only need to create a one page summary. Another may need to outline the plot, draft setting summaries, and produce family trees. A writer friend of mine once created a glossary of terms for his alien race. No matter what the case may be, there is a benefit to planning. For me—and I’d be willing to bet for most writers—planning saves time. Not to mention ease headaches. So for those of you who have yet to write a character profile or a plot outline, give it a try. You won’t be sorry.
For some writers, plot outlines, chapter summaries, and character profiles are more tedious than editing. Many writers can weave a single idea into a satisfying manuscript without a single moment of planning. A spark ignites, the plot and characters unfold as they type and... VOILA...the first draft is done. I went that route with my first manuscript. Unfortunately, in my case, that only prolonged the revision process. I had that initial spark for my story ten years ago and am just now putting the finishing touches to it. This story has gone through three major overhauls in plot, setting, and characters. Since then, I’ve learned that a little planning can reduce the time spent revising.
It’s fun too. Much like the fun in planning a Walt Disney World vacation. What hotel to stay at, what parks to visit (setting). How to get there, what attractions and shows to see, where to eat (plot). Who is going (characters) and what are they interested in doing? Planning helps make a satisfying and successful vacation. The same applies to writing. A sturdy outline of events keeps the plot anchored so I don’t need to stop writing to conjure up the next scene. All I have to do is refer to my outline and my index fingers can keep pecking away at the keys. A firm character profile keeps continuity from page to page with my literary cast. I know how each character will respond to any given situation because I have laid out their age, history, families, likes, dislikes, and witticisms before bringing them to written life. Solid chapter summaries keep me focused on setting, character interaction, and specific details to the plot so I don’t have to waste precious time battling writer’s block.
The planning method works well for the “chunk” writer. No I don’t mean the overweight writer. A “chunk” writer is one who devotes small chunks of time to writing by either necessity or choice. For me—having a job and family...coaching, Cub Scout den leader, classroom volunteer, etc.—chunk writing is necessary. I may only have thirty minutes to write on Monday and two hours on Tuesday (if only I had two hours every day). With a detailed plan, I can pick up right where I left off. I know what I am going to be writing about the moment I sit down.
Planning is not limited to the few ideas mentioned above. All writers are different. One writer might only need to create a one page summary. Another may need to outline the plot, draft setting summaries, and produce family trees. A writer friend of mine once created a glossary of terms for his alien race. No matter what the case may be, there is a benefit to planning. For me—and I’d be willing to bet for most writers—planning saves time. Not to mention ease headaches. So for those of you who have yet to write a character profile or a plot outline, give it a try. You won’t be sorry.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Turning a Bad Idea into a Good One
Bad ideas are everywhere; the jet powered wheelchair, the inflatable dartboard, the flatulence deodorizer, and Superman III just to name a few. Even geniuses stumble—farting and belching in the Star Wars universe... come on! The funny thing about a bad idea is that somebody has to think it is a good idea initially.
When I was eleven, what I thought was a brilliant scheme to make a quick buck ended up being a colossal mistake. Every summer Mom would raid our closet for outgrown clothes and toys that had become dust collectors. She’d slap a piece of masking tape labeled with either a nickel, dime, or quarter onto it and place them in a rummage sale. Two days later, we carted the unsold items to Goodwill.
One such summer, my “brilliant” thirteen-year-old brother observed that none of us kids made a dime off Mom’s rummage sales, even though the majority of stuff sold belonged to us. After an emergency meeting with my older brother and my twin, we approached Mom. She agreed that if we helped and if we gathered our own stuff to sell, we could keep the money. A nickel here, a dime there and soon all three of us would be rich. We tore through our bedroom. Yes, all three of us shared a room. I won’t lie. It got messy. The first items I sorted through were the piles of dirty laundry on the floor. Curse Mom, I thought. I could have sold my old Smurf underoos for a nickel if she hadn’t labeled my initials onto the tag. Unfortunately, all of our socks had a J, an E, or an M inscribed on them in permanent marker. I ruled out selling underwear and socks.
Aha! My taekwondo trophies. Who wouldn’t want one of those? I piled them into a box and carried them out to the garage. Out strutted my older brother with a superior grin cemented on his fat face. He slid my trophies aside and set up a display of our duplicate Star Wars action figures; Stormtroopers, Snowtroopers, Star Destroyer Commanders, Hammerheads, Walrus Man, Jawas, and Tusken Raiders. Who needed five R2 D2’s anyway? At a dime apiece, those action figures flew off the table as if Obi Wan Kenobi himself were using a Jedi mind trick on our customers.
An hour later, we replenished our stock. Out came toy X-wings, TIE Fighters, sandspeeders, and a Death Star play set. BOOM! By the end of the day everything Star Wars had been sold. Even the Boba Fett I received from a third grade gift exchange was gone. It felt weird to step into our room and not see the Millenium Falcon dangling from the ceiling or the stacks of Topps Star Wars trading cards strewn about the shelves. The five or six dollars in my grubby mits helped soothe any pain the sight of a Star Warsless room may have caused my eyes. I don’t recall what I bought with my share of the money—no doubt important stuff like candy bars and soda—but what I do remember is how jealous I felt years later when my buddies set up a shrine to their childhood Star Wars collectibles. I also felt like a chump shortly thereafter when I thumbed through a toy collector magazine and saw the current value of those toys we had sold for pennies. If only my brothers and I would have thought more about what we were doing that fateful summer day back in 1983, I could have saved the hundreds of dollars it took to rebuy some of those items. The bad idea of selling our toys for a measly fifteen bucks could have evolved into a big-time moneymaker just by waiting a decade and a half later. We could have fetched a handsome sum by auctioning those vinatge Star Wars collectibles on eBay.
See what a little foresight can do for an awful idea? For a writer, bad ideas spring up all the time. They may hinder a character’s potential or even ruin the plot. Those ideas may be bad for that particular story; however, after careful consideration and planning, those bad ideas may work wonders for a writer’s next character or project. It takes time and effort to transform a bad idea into a good one. The key is recognizing that an idea needs more work. If I would have taken a moment to reflect upon how losing my favorite toys would make me feel instead of being blinded by the almighty buck, I might still have my entire collection to share with my sons.
At least I learned a valuable lesson. You can bet I’ll never sell my Jar Jar Binks collectors cup or my Darth Maul T-Shirt. Who knows, maybe I’ll draw some inspiration from my youthful mistake. There is a story idea in it somewhere.
When I was eleven, what I thought was a brilliant scheme to make a quick buck ended up being a colossal mistake. Every summer Mom would raid our closet for outgrown clothes and toys that had become dust collectors. She’d slap a piece of masking tape labeled with either a nickel, dime, or quarter onto it and place them in a rummage sale. Two days later, we carted the unsold items to Goodwill.
One such summer, my “brilliant” thirteen-year-old brother observed that none of us kids made a dime off Mom’s rummage sales, even though the majority of stuff sold belonged to us. After an emergency meeting with my older brother and my twin, we approached Mom. She agreed that if we helped and if we gathered our own stuff to sell, we could keep the money. A nickel here, a dime there and soon all three of us would be rich. We tore through our bedroom. Yes, all three of us shared a room. I won’t lie. It got messy. The first items I sorted through were the piles of dirty laundry on the floor. Curse Mom, I thought. I could have sold my old Smurf underoos for a nickel if she hadn’t labeled my initials onto the tag. Unfortunately, all of our socks had a J, an E, or an M inscribed on them in permanent marker. I ruled out selling underwear and socks.
Aha! My taekwondo trophies. Who wouldn’t want one of those? I piled them into a box and carried them out to the garage. Out strutted my older brother with a superior grin cemented on his fat face. He slid my trophies aside and set up a display of our duplicate Star Wars action figures; Stormtroopers, Snowtroopers, Star Destroyer Commanders, Hammerheads, Walrus Man, Jawas, and Tusken Raiders. Who needed five R2 D2’s anyway? At a dime apiece, those action figures flew off the table as if Obi Wan Kenobi himself were using a Jedi mind trick on our customers.
An hour later, we replenished our stock. Out came toy X-wings, TIE Fighters, sandspeeders, and a Death Star play set. BOOM! By the end of the day everything Star Wars had been sold. Even the Boba Fett I received from a third grade gift exchange was gone. It felt weird to step into our room and not see the Millenium Falcon dangling from the ceiling or the stacks of Topps Star Wars trading cards strewn about the shelves. The five or six dollars in my grubby mits helped soothe any pain the sight of a Star Warsless room may have caused my eyes. I don’t recall what I bought with my share of the money—no doubt important stuff like candy bars and soda—but what I do remember is how jealous I felt years later when my buddies set up a shrine to their childhood Star Wars collectibles. I also felt like a chump shortly thereafter when I thumbed through a toy collector magazine and saw the current value of those toys we had sold for pennies. If only my brothers and I would have thought more about what we were doing that fateful summer day back in 1983, I could have saved the hundreds of dollars it took to rebuy some of those items. The bad idea of selling our toys for a measly fifteen bucks could have evolved into a big-time moneymaker just by waiting a decade and a half later. We could have fetched a handsome sum by auctioning those vinatge Star Wars collectibles on eBay.
See what a little foresight can do for an awful idea? For a writer, bad ideas spring up all the time. They may hinder a character’s potential or even ruin the plot. Those ideas may be bad for that particular story; however, after careful consideration and planning, those bad ideas may work wonders for a writer’s next character or project. It takes time and effort to transform a bad idea into a good one. The key is recognizing that an idea needs more work. If I would have taken a moment to reflect upon how losing my favorite toys would make me feel instead of being blinded by the almighty buck, I might still have my entire collection to share with my sons.
At least I learned a valuable lesson. You can bet I’ll never sell my Jar Jar Binks collectors cup or my Darth Maul T-Shirt. Who knows, maybe I’ll draw some inspiration from my youthful mistake. There is a story idea in it somewhere.
Friday, March 4, 2011
An Editing Essential
People fulfilling their New Year’s resolutions do it. Clydesdales and greyhounds do it. Basketball, baseball, and football players do it. Well, not all football players. Offensive linemen do the opposite. The physician recommended that my next-door neighbor Bernie do it. Ralph Kramden should have done it. So should have Chubby Checker and Fat Albert.
“It” is a ritual known as trimming the fat. And all good writers need to do it. For writers, trimming the fat means something different than it does for a racehorse or an athlete. We writers don’t have to watch what we eat. We don’t have to frequent the treadmill, or indulge in sit-ups or daily jogging to trim our fat. But we do have to hunt down weak modifiers, colorless verbs, overused and unnecessary words, and clichés; a task that can be every bit as painful as passing up a juicy T-bone steak and a plate of chili cheese fries for a carrot and a bowl of dry lettuce. To the trained eye, however, those literary mistakes stick out like...well, like the overused cliché...a sore thumb. Does a sore thumb really stick out?
I had a sore thumb once, when I was ten. The batter hit a screaming liner down third. I snared the ball out of midair and landed awkwardly on the bag with my throwing hand buried beneath my chest, bending back "Tom Terrific." For the next two weeks, my thumb was in pain. Good old "Tommy Tutone" was a little swelled and bruised, but didn’t stick out anymore than the other nine pudgy digits on my hands. A better metaphor to use would be; those literary mistakes stick out like the fleas on a hairless monkey’s back. Better? The point of listing those mistakes is to explain that a writer must trim the fat from a first draft. A good story or book is rarely, if ever, complete after one sitting. A first draft is merely the foundation for a skyscraper. Each draft or revision adds the next floor on the tower.
Fluffy, meaningless words clutter writing. Much like the way our speech is filled with excessive words that don’t add to what we say. It would make for dull dialogue if an author chose to use the actual exchange of words between a courting young male and his first crush. “I ah...was wondering if um...maybe you’d like to, you know, possibly, maybe go out with me sometime, you know...to a movie or something.” We’ve all been through that in real life, but on the written page, the dialogue must be crisp and move the plot along or your reader will choose to watch a rerun of The Brady Bunch instead. Believe me, the Casanova of Clinton Ave., Greg Brady would have no problem getting a date the way our bumbling character does. Besides, reading is supposed to be an escape. I don’t want to read about a guy as dorky as I am with the ladies. I want to read about the super cool guy I’ve always daydreamed of being or the guy shrouded in mystery or the guy who rebels against everything I’m too afraid to even think about rebelling against. Take the main character in my novel The Toupeed Eagle for instance.
Darwin sashayed to Chloe. He caressed her warm cheek. “Such beauty would go well with pizza and a movie, no?”
Darwin gets the girl. He has to, to keep the plot moving. If he didn’t, there would be no point including the scene in the story, unless I wanted to show a flaw or weakness or make the reader feel sorry for him, which I do not. The first time I wrote that passage, it was boring and wordy.
Darwin walked slowly by Chloe who was standing next to the counter. He slowed down for a better look at her brown eyes, and then stopped. He placed his hand gently under her chin then rubbed it against her rosy cheek. “How about joining me for a pizza?”
In my revision, I chose stronger verbs (sashayed instead of walked, caressed instead of rubbed), eliminated unnecessary words (where Chloe stood was not important, nor were her brown eyes), and cut the weak modifiers (slowly, and gently). Trimming the fat made the passage snappy and direct. It conveyed the same meaning in three short sentences (twenty-one words) as my previous attempt had with four long, clumsy sentences and twice as many words. Trimming the fat is an editing essential and it takes time to master, but is worth every second, minute, hour, or year spent doing it.
“It” is a ritual known as trimming the fat. And all good writers need to do it. For writers, trimming the fat means something different than it does for a racehorse or an athlete. We writers don’t have to watch what we eat. We don’t have to frequent the treadmill, or indulge in sit-ups or daily jogging to trim our fat. But we do have to hunt down weak modifiers, colorless verbs, overused and unnecessary words, and clichés; a task that can be every bit as painful as passing up a juicy T-bone steak and a plate of chili cheese fries for a carrot and a bowl of dry lettuce. To the trained eye, however, those literary mistakes stick out like...well, like the overused cliché...a sore thumb. Does a sore thumb really stick out?
I had a sore thumb once, when I was ten. The batter hit a screaming liner down third. I snared the ball out of midair and landed awkwardly on the bag with my throwing hand buried beneath my chest, bending back "Tom Terrific." For the next two weeks, my thumb was in pain. Good old "Tommy Tutone" was a little swelled and bruised, but didn’t stick out anymore than the other nine pudgy digits on my hands. A better metaphor to use would be; those literary mistakes stick out like the fleas on a hairless monkey’s back. Better? The point of listing those mistakes is to explain that a writer must trim the fat from a first draft. A good story or book is rarely, if ever, complete after one sitting. A first draft is merely the foundation for a skyscraper. Each draft or revision adds the next floor on the tower.
Fluffy, meaningless words clutter writing. Much like the way our speech is filled with excessive words that don’t add to what we say. It would make for dull dialogue if an author chose to use the actual exchange of words between a courting young male and his first crush. “I ah...was wondering if um...maybe you’d like to, you know, possibly, maybe go out with me sometime, you know...to a movie or something.” We’ve all been through that in real life, but on the written page, the dialogue must be crisp and move the plot along or your reader will choose to watch a rerun of The Brady Bunch instead. Believe me, the Casanova of Clinton Ave., Greg Brady would have no problem getting a date the way our bumbling character does. Besides, reading is supposed to be an escape. I don’t want to read about a guy as dorky as I am with the ladies. I want to read about the super cool guy I’ve always daydreamed of being or the guy shrouded in mystery or the guy who rebels against everything I’m too afraid to even think about rebelling against. Take the main character in my novel The Toupeed Eagle for instance.
Darwin sashayed to Chloe. He caressed her warm cheek. “Such beauty would go well with pizza and a movie, no?”
Darwin gets the girl. He has to, to keep the plot moving. If he didn’t, there would be no point including the scene in the story, unless I wanted to show a flaw or weakness or make the reader feel sorry for him, which I do not. The first time I wrote that passage, it was boring and wordy.
Darwin walked slowly by Chloe who was standing next to the counter. He slowed down for a better look at her brown eyes, and then stopped. He placed his hand gently under her chin then rubbed it against her rosy cheek. “How about joining me for a pizza?”
In my revision, I chose stronger verbs (sashayed instead of walked, caressed instead of rubbed), eliminated unnecessary words (where Chloe stood was not important, nor were her brown eyes), and cut the weak modifiers (slowly, and gently). Trimming the fat made the passage snappy and direct. It conveyed the same meaning in three short sentences (twenty-one words) as my previous attempt had with four long, clumsy sentences and twice as many words. Trimming the fat is an editing essential and it takes time to master, but is worth every second, minute, hour, or year spent doing it.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Not Etched in Stone
When I wrote my first story Star Force (original huh!) back in third grade, editing and revising was as alien to me as Mr. Spock was to Dr. McCoy’s medical scanners. I remember that day well. Jack Frost blessed us with enough snow to cancel school. My twin brother and I spent all morning and afternoon writing. Coincidentally, his epic novel was titled Star Blast. You can probably guess this was the early 80’s and that both of us had our trusty bowcaster and lightsaber at our sides.
Sixty-five pages and a cramped, ready-to-be-traded-in-for-a-better-model hand later, my masterpiece was finished. I was so proud. Not only had I written my first book, I finished before my brother.
The next twenty minutes was spent creating a spectacular cover. Mom had just bought a big box of Crayolas, the one that had every color and name of crayon you could think of. My dazzling cover had robots, colorful planets, laser beams, and spaceships that looked a lot like X-Wings and TIE Fighters. The Dark Avenger, clad in black helmet, armor, and robe, occupied the center space. No lightsaber though. I must make that clear. The Dark Avenger had a phaser stick. No way did I want people thinking Star Force was a cheap knock off of Star Wars. Aha! The perfect book. A stunning cover and sixty-five pages of sheer poetry.
Flash forward one hour later...I leaned back on the sofa, reflecting upon what I just read. How did my wonderful masterpiece suddenly turn out to be so...unoriginal? There was blaster fights, exploding spaceships and planets. Even a climactic duel between Denge Arkili (the hero) and The Dark Avenger. The final page contained a hero’s ceremony. What was there not to like about that? Brilliant right? No! Though I tried to convince myself stores would soon carry a line of Denge Arkili and Dark Avenger action figures, I realized my first book was a complete failure. I tore up the pages and chucked them in the garbage.
It wasn’t until a couple years later in sixth grade while writing a Choose Your Own Adventure titled, Mile High Hill that I realized my writing was not etched in stone. I had the freedom to change words, characters, or scenes. If I didn’t like something, I could improve it. Two or three drafts later and Mile High Hill still stunk, but at least I didn’t throw it away. I have a typed copy to read for laughs or to draw inspiration from. The valuable lesson learned from my first two attempts at writing was to never throw out—or delete—anything, no matter how bad it seems. There is always time to improve it or to revisit a scene or character for a different project. The next time you read over your own manuscript, remember any idea is worth working on, even if it takes months or years to realize that idea’s vision. I’m even considering bringing back The Dark Avenger for a scene in The Toupeed Eagle, phaser stick and all.
Sixty-five pages and a cramped, ready-to-be-traded-in-for-a-better-model hand later, my masterpiece was finished. I was so proud. Not only had I written my first book, I finished before my brother.
The next twenty minutes was spent creating a spectacular cover. Mom had just bought a big box of Crayolas, the one that had every color and name of crayon you could think of. My dazzling cover had robots, colorful planets, laser beams, and spaceships that looked a lot like X-Wings and TIE Fighters. The Dark Avenger, clad in black helmet, armor, and robe, occupied the center space. No lightsaber though. I must make that clear. The Dark Avenger had a phaser stick. No way did I want people thinking Star Force was a cheap knock off of Star Wars. Aha! The perfect book. A stunning cover and sixty-five pages of sheer poetry.
Flash forward one hour later...I leaned back on the sofa, reflecting upon what I just read. How did my wonderful masterpiece suddenly turn out to be so...unoriginal? There was blaster fights, exploding spaceships and planets. Even a climactic duel between Denge Arkili (the hero) and The Dark Avenger. The final page contained a hero’s ceremony. What was there not to like about that? Brilliant right? No! Though I tried to convince myself stores would soon carry a line of Denge Arkili and Dark Avenger action figures, I realized my first book was a complete failure. I tore up the pages and chucked them in the garbage.
It wasn’t until a couple years later in sixth grade while writing a Choose Your Own Adventure titled, Mile High Hill that I realized my writing was not etched in stone. I had the freedom to change words, characters, or scenes. If I didn’t like something, I could improve it. Two or three drafts later and Mile High Hill still stunk, but at least I didn’t throw it away. I have a typed copy to read for laughs or to draw inspiration from. The valuable lesson learned from my first two attempts at writing was to never throw out—or delete—anything, no matter how bad it seems. There is always time to improve it or to revisit a scene or character for a different project. The next time you read over your own manuscript, remember any idea is worth working on, even if it takes months or years to realize that idea’s vision. I’m even considering bringing back The Dark Avenger for a scene in The Toupeed Eagle, phaser stick and all.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Typical Morning for the Typical Writer
You know the scene: unkempt, out of shape hairy dude sits down in front of keyboard, stretches arms, scratches armpits, cracks neck, twists back. Gets up, grabs bag of chips, devours bag of chips, cracks knuckles, pecks away at keyboard. Two words later—gets up, opens refrigerator, stares blankly at selection, reaches for bottle of water, slides bottle of water aside in favor of healthier caffeine loaded and sugar coated soft drink, plops crack-showing butt back down. Deletes two previous words, yawns, guzzles soda, throws can at wastebasket—misses—leans over, belches, chubby fingers barely grasp empty can, leans out more, farts, chair slides out. A skinned bottom and a bruised ego later, crushes can with fury of a two hundred-twenty pound gorilla squashing a banana. Chucks crushed can at wall, cools down, returns to computer screen, yawns...again, rubs aching knees, stares at TV. Drags weary feet over to comfy sofa, picks up remote—no batteries! Storms into kitchen, tears apart every drawer until two AA batteries turn up in the exact spot wife had said they’d be. Stomps back over and jams batteries into remote—won’t fit—needs AAA batteries.
Slams fist, searches kitchen for twenty minutes, no batteries. Drives to convenient store, purchases AAA batteries, drives home. Shoves batteries in remote, hits power button, DVD player activates. Brings remote to eye level, confirms batteries in wrong remote, searches everywhere—under sofa, in between cushions, on counter tops and shelves for TV remote. Finally realizes TV has an actual power button. Hems, haws, and turns TV on. Sappy romance appears. Panic sets in, satellite remote lost. Pulse races, fast, shallow breathing starts, sweat pours down face, shirt drenched—Aha! Satellite receiver has a channel button—pulse and breathing slows. Presses channel button, turns on sports channel, plops onto comfy sofa. No picture! TV screen flashes message “channel not available, please contact satellite provider. Chucks remote at 46” HD TV—misses—luckily, lays head on pillow, falls asleep. Phone rings. Gets up, answers “hello.” Nobody there. Hangs up, lies on couch. Phone rings. Gets up, answers “hello” and hears a click. Hangs up, lies back down. Phone rings. Gets up and answers “HELLO!”
“Why are you answering the phone instead of writing?” Mom asks.
Now you know how my morning went. Can’t wait for the afternoon.
Slams fist, searches kitchen for twenty minutes, no batteries. Drives to convenient store, purchases AAA batteries, drives home. Shoves batteries in remote, hits power button, DVD player activates. Brings remote to eye level, confirms batteries in wrong remote, searches everywhere—under sofa, in between cushions, on counter tops and shelves for TV remote. Finally realizes TV has an actual power button. Hems, haws, and turns TV on. Sappy romance appears. Panic sets in, satellite remote lost. Pulse races, fast, shallow breathing starts, sweat pours down face, shirt drenched—Aha! Satellite receiver has a channel button—pulse and breathing slows. Presses channel button, turns on sports channel, plops onto comfy sofa. No picture! TV screen flashes message “channel not available, please contact satellite provider. Chucks remote at 46” HD TV—misses—luckily, lays head on pillow, falls asleep. Phone rings. Gets up, answers “hello.” Nobody there. Hangs up, lies on couch. Phone rings. Gets up, answers “hello” and hears a click. Hangs up, lies back down. Phone rings. Gets up and answers “HELLO!”
“Why are you answering the phone instead of writing?” Mom asks.
Now you know how my morning went. Can’t wait for the afternoon.
Monday, February 7, 2011
From Inspiration to Perspiration
Writers work hard on their craft day and night. Characters, plots, settings, and ideas can funnel around our brains at any given moment. When the writer’s mind wanders, inspiration strikes. Be it at work (yes...most writers have a day job), while driving, or while snoozing. The well-educated writer knows how to take advantage of the situation by either committing these ideas to memory or by jotting them down on a notepad, on a piece of paper, or even on an arm...preferably your own.
Don’t make the mistake of scribbling notes about the plot twisting, on-the-seat-of-your-pants sci-fi action adventurer that suddenly came to you like a revelation from a higher power in the middle of the night onto your significant other’s arm. If you do decide to ignore my advice, at least avoid using a permanent marker. Trust me! When morning arrives your spouse WILL lambast you then toss you and every article of clothing you own out the second story window. Notice how the clothes went after you. This is done to avert any chance of a soft landing. Not only will bodily harm befall the writer who makes such an error—now your brilliant, can’t miss sci-fi action adventurer will be on display for the whole world to see. As luck would then have it, Miss Wormhart, the receptionist at your spouse’s place of employment will weave your notes into a NY Times bestseller well before you have chapter 3 done. Not only are you sleeping in a bush behind the garage—you’ve just wasted the last two weeks working on a manuscript that will have you accused of plagiarism.
My advice... carry a small notepad and pen in the pocket of your plaid button down shirt—oh wait! That went out of style in the early 1950’s the moment the word “Nerd” was introduced into our vocabulary. Better yet, fold a piece of paper into the back pocket of your tight leather pants—I mean the front pocket of your cool, nice-looking Khaki pants or blue jeans. That way when inspiration strikes, whip out your paper, unfold it, grab a pen and start scrawling. Just be sure you can read your own writing. That method works for me. I never know when my internal Muse is going to wake up and I’ll bet you never do either. So why not be prepared? You may come up with a bold, fresh character just by watching Dad check the fire alarms in his tighty whities and black socks or a mystical setting from staring out the window while your boss berates you for missing yesterday’s meeting.
The best thing any writer can do for himself/herself is to be prepared. Who cares if the mail you’re supposed to be sorting piles up on your co-worker. You’ve just jotted down the key elements to your next love-triangled spy thriller. And when you finally have it completed several years from now, those dirty looks and bold shout outs directed at you from your spurned co-worker will seem silly and trivial. Don’t let anything prevent you from writing. I never do. Just be sure to actually pull the car over or swerve onto an exit ramp and park before you start writing while behind the wheel. Or just wait for a voice-activated inscriber app for the iPhone to come out. Better yet, wait for the mind-reading inscriber app. Writing will be a breeze then.
Don’t make the mistake of scribbling notes about the plot twisting, on-the-seat-of-your-pants sci-fi action adventurer that suddenly came to you like a revelation from a higher power in the middle of the night onto your significant other’s arm. If you do decide to ignore my advice, at least avoid using a permanent marker. Trust me! When morning arrives your spouse WILL lambast you then toss you and every article of clothing you own out the second story window. Notice how the clothes went after you. This is done to avert any chance of a soft landing. Not only will bodily harm befall the writer who makes such an error—now your brilliant, can’t miss sci-fi action adventurer will be on display for the whole world to see. As luck would then have it, Miss Wormhart, the receptionist at your spouse’s place of employment will weave your notes into a NY Times bestseller well before you have chapter 3 done. Not only are you sleeping in a bush behind the garage—you’ve just wasted the last two weeks working on a manuscript that will have you accused of plagiarism.
My advice... carry a small notepad and pen in the pocket of your plaid button down shirt—oh wait! That went out of style in the early 1950’s the moment the word “Nerd” was introduced into our vocabulary. Better yet, fold a piece of paper into the back pocket of your tight leather pants—I mean the front pocket of your cool, nice-looking Khaki pants or blue jeans. That way when inspiration strikes, whip out your paper, unfold it, grab a pen and start scrawling. Just be sure you can read your own writing. That method works for me. I never know when my internal Muse is going to wake up and I’ll bet you never do either. So why not be prepared? You may come up with a bold, fresh character just by watching Dad check the fire alarms in his tighty whities and black socks or a mystical setting from staring out the window while your boss berates you for missing yesterday’s meeting.
The best thing any writer can do for himself/herself is to be prepared. Who cares if the mail you’re supposed to be sorting piles up on your co-worker. You’ve just jotted down the key elements to your next love-triangled spy thriller. And when you finally have it completed several years from now, those dirty looks and bold shout outs directed at you from your spurned co-worker will seem silly and trivial. Don’t let anything prevent you from writing. I never do. Just be sure to actually pull the car over or swerve onto an exit ramp and park before you start writing while behind the wheel. Or just wait for a voice-activated inscriber app for the iPhone to come out. Better yet, wait for the mind-reading inscriber app. Writing will be a breeze then.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
A Useful Tool for Writers
The most useful tool a writer uses is—of course—a pillow. A good, fluffy pillow serves two purposes.
First, when placed on a table it softens the blow when banging out writer’s block from your brain. My pillow has prevented numerous concussions over the years, not to mention limit the red welts across my forehead.
Second, and most importantly, the clever writer has a pillow on hand at all times to...NO! Not nap. A good writer will doze off anywhere, anytime, and on anything including; couches, office chairs, desktops, library tables, bathtubs, busses, behind the wheel, garbage dumpsters. Okay, I threw the last two in there to see if you were paying attention. This writer does not recommend sleeping at the wheel or in a garbage dumpster. Back to the point. The educated writer often uses a pillow to whack things.
Just the other day when revising chapter one of my book The Toupeed Eagle I stopped halfway through and yelled, “This is GARBAGE!” It was then that the sun’s rays seeped through the cracked blinds and cast a golden spotlight onto my pillow, encouraging—almost begging me to pick it up and use it. Feathers went flying! My pencil, paper, and laptop will never be the same. But boy did they learn a good lesson. We’ll see if they let ol’ EJ down again. I have a feeling my pencil, paper, and laptop wish to avoid any future pillow fights from now on.
So while other writers and authors will brainwash you into thinking a Dictionary or even a Thesaurus is the most important tool a writer can use, I’m here to tell you differently. If you only have room in your carrier for one item, leave the Dictionary and the Thesaurus on the shelf. I never start a writing session without my pillow and I recommend you do the same. For the well-educated writer, a pillow is therapy held in a blue and green Yoda pillowcase. Also, when the words seem to flow better on a subconscious level, just whip out your pillow and you’re good to go.
First, when placed on a table it softens the blow when banging out writer’s block from your brain. My pillow has prevented numerous concussions over the years, not to mention limit the red welts across my forehead.
Second, and most importantly, the clever writer has a pillow on hand at all times to...NO! Not nap. A good writer will doze off anywhere, anytime, and on anything including; couches, office chairs, desktops, library tables, bathtubs, busses, behind the wheel, garbage dumpsters. Okay, I threw the last two in there to see if you were paying attention. This writer does not recommend sleeping at the wheel or in a garbage dumpster. Back to the point. The educated writer often uses a pillow to whack things.
Just the other day when revising chapter one of my book The Toupeed Eagle I stopped halfway through and yelled, “This is GARBAGE!” It was then that the sun’s rays seeped through the cracked blinds and cast a golden spotlight onto my pillow, encouraging—almost begging me to pick it up and use it. Feathers went flying! My pencil, paper, and laptop will never be the same. But boy did they learn a good lesson. We’ll see if they let ol’ EJ down again. I have a feeling my pencil, paper, and laptop wish to avoid any future pillow fights from now on.
So while other writers and authors will brainwash you into thinking a Dictionary or even a Thesaurus is the most important tool a writer can use, I’m here to tell you differently. If you only have room in your carrier for one item, leave the Dictionary and the Thesaurus on the shelf. I never start a writing session without my pillow and I recommend you do the same. For the well-educated writer, a pillow is therapy held in a blue and green Yoda pillowcase. Also, when the words seem to flow better on a subconscious level, just whip out your pillow and you’re good to go.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Laziness in Today's Writing
I’m going to start my first post off on a negative vibe...YIPEE! Wait a minute. A blog is supposed to attract readers, not turn them away. Who in today’s world wants to spend a few minutes of their day being scolded? Well, let’s face it. This is a first post. Nobody ever reads a blog’s first post. I could write a paragraph on the fine art of nose hair trimming and nobody would be offended. Well, maybe my mother would be. She’s the only person who may give this a glance. Then she’d realize I’ve seen her shove both a clipper and an electric razor up her nostrils on more than one occasion. But enough about my dear old mother.
What I’d like to rant about is the English language. Or more precisely, how it has been neglected over the years. In fact, several misuses irk me and stick in my craw (what is a craw anyway? Somebody look it up and tell me). First, to any of my readers (mom), please don’t take this personal. You probably aren’t guilty of any of the following. Excuse me while I sneeze...Kachooyeahright!
I hate text and chat abbreviations. I hate them so much I never use them. Almost hate them as much as I hate bending my big toe nail on the bottom of the door (LOL). It’s the lazy man’s—or woman’s way to type. BTW that is not how we were taught to write in school. If you want to express “Merry Christmas” to an Australian friend, take the extra few seconds to type out the entire phrase. Oops! That reminds me. Forgot to wish my best mate Rory happy holidays. Better late than never. MC M8!
Far too often, I’m enjoying a post on a forum or a text message from my nieces and nephew from Florida when all of a sudden my eyes squint. My well-versed, straight A’s in English class brain can’t comprehend what they’re saying. I mean, What up wit’ dat? Here’s an example. Okay is spelled Okay, even OK—not K! Understand? K!—let’s move on.
Here’s another example. When George Lucas created SW, I’m sure he never envisioned Obi Wan or Luke saying “M-T-F-B-W-U”. Nobody would understand that. So why do I constantly see people signing off with that? K, fine, I only see dorks like me ending an e-mail or signing off on a post with May the Force be with you. But I at least spell it out correctly.
Hey, that was a great example. N1—Give yourself a pat on the back EJ!
K, ENUF with the text abb. Another thing I can’t stand is how people—well-educated people mind you—have become so lazy they can’t capitalize a letter in the beginning of a sentence. Worse yet...they can’t speel correctly. Or they forget an apostrofe in a contracsion like won’t or cant. Doesnt anybody proofreed anymoor? Hello! Did mrs. Booth’s English and Spelling lessons in grade school fall on deaf ears people? Was she being paid for talking to a wall? And PLZ don’t forget your punctuation. if you ask a question then end the sentence with a question mark? PLZ! ENUF said. NE1 have questions. Good, I need to hook up wit’ my peeps for dinner All this grammer is getting to me. PM me if you want a crash course on blogging and texting the old fashioned and proper way. I fear the youth of the world will soon be speaking a whole new language if this laziness continues.
OMG, I almost forgot to sign off.
MTFBWU.
EJ Sivad
What I’d like to rant about is the English language. Or more precisely, how it has been neglected over the years. In fact, several misuses irk me and stick in my craw (what is a craw anyway? Somebody look it up and tell me). First, to any of my readers (mom), please don’t take this personal. You probably aren’t guilty of any of the following. Excuse me while I sneeze...Kachooyeahright!
I hate text and chat abbreviations. I hate them so much I never use them. Almost hate them as much as I hate bending my big toe nail on the bottom of the door (LOL). It’s the lazy man’s—or woman’s way to type. BTW that is not how we were taught to write in school. If you want to express “Merry Christmas” to an Australian friend, take the extra few seconds to type out the entire phrase. Oops! That reminds me. Forgot to wish my best mate Rory happy holidays. Better late than never. MC M8!
Far too often, I’m enjoying a post on a forum or a text message from my nieces and nephew from Florida when all of a sudden my eyes squint. My well-versed, straight A’s in English class brain can’t comprehend what they’re saying. I mean, What up wit’ dat? Here’s an example. Okay is spelled Okay, even OK—not K! Understand? K!—let’s move on.
Here’s another example. When George Lucas created SW, I’m sure he never envisioned Obi Wan or Luke saying “M-T-F-B-W-U”. Nobody would understand that. So why do I constantly see people signing off with that? K, fine, I only see dorks like me ending an e-mail or signing off on a post with May the Force be with you. But I at least spell it out correctly.
Hey, that was a great example. N1—Give yourself a pat on the back EJ!
K, ENUF with the text abb. Another thing I can’t stand is how people—well-educated people mind you—have become so lazy they can’t capitalize a letter in the beginning of a sentence. Worse yet...they can’t speel correctly. Or they forget an apostrofe in a contracsion like won’t or cant. Doesnt anybody proofreed anymoor? Hello! Did mrs. Booth’s English and Spelling lessons in grade school fall on deaf ears people? Was she being paid for talking to a wall? And PLZ don’t forget your punctuation. if you ask a question then end the sentence with a question mark? PLZ! ENUF said. NE1 have questions. Good, I need to hook up wit’ my peeps for dinner All this grammer is getting to me. PM me if you want a crash course on blogging and texting the old fashioned and proper way. I fear the youth of the world will soon be speaking a whole new language if this laziness continues.
OMG, I almost forgot to sign off.
MTFBWU.
EJ Sivad
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